I said something in a conversation today that I believe expressed my feelings lately. I may write more on this later but I wanted to get it down before I forgot what it was.
I feel like I'm grasping at bubbles. Just about the time I think I have hold of it, it pops. I want to be grasping at things more concrete.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Growing
I've been reminded of an old Wayne Watson song:
Do you ever wanna be the potter and not the clay? I think we all live under the illusion that we're in control. We're just a lump of clay. Somehow, because of free will, not fwee wiwwy, (momentary lapse, thanks Lyle) we can either ignore God's shaping or have some sorta input on it. I don't know how God works that. Most of the time we mess up the handiwork. We've all heard that God don't make junk. We can't blame Him for that, most of the time we bear the burden of "junking" ourselves up.
I wanna be what God wants and not what I want but I've been working on what I want for so long I don't know how to let go. But if I realize I'm not holding on to whatever it is, God is, then I don't havta let go. Oh my, what a paradox. (I hope I'm using that word correctly.) God help me to just be clay moldable in your hands. You may havta pour water over me to loosen up the hard parts. You may havta collapse me and start all over again. Lord, I don't know what You havta do, just make me into what You have in mind. This is my prayer today.
I'm growing. I don't like it.I'm growing, and it hurts.
I love You, but I'm tired.
Guess I've got a lot to learn.
Yeah, I guess I've got a lot to learn.
Do you ever wanna be the potter and not the clay? I think we all live under the illusion that we're in control. We're just a lump of clay. Somehow, because of free will, not fwee wiwwy, (momentary lapse, thanks Lyle) we can either ignore God's shaping or have some sorta input on it. I don't know how God works that. Most of the time we mess up the handiwork. We've all heard that God don't make junk. We can't blame Him for that, most of the time we bear the burden of "junking" ourselves up.
I wanna be what God wants and not what I want but I've been working on what I want for so long I don't know how to let go. But if I realize I'm not holding on to whatever it is, God is, then I don't havta let go. Oh my, what a paradox. (I hope I'm using that word correctly.) God help me to just be clay moldable in your hands. You may havta pour water over me to loosen up the hard parts. You may havta collapse me and start all over again. Lord, I don't know what You havta do, just make me into what You have in mind. This is my prayer today.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Skip to the End
I am not a reader. My children are readers. I've read Peretti books but when there was a lot of narrative I skipped over it to the action. I haven't read any of the Narnia books but we have them dramatically presented on CD from Focus on the Family. Most of them are pretty good. Recently Jeromy went through a phase where he was listening to The Last Battle CD over and over again during a weekend. The last few paragraphs of the book are so desciptive:
Lucy said, "We were afraid of being sent away, Aslan. And you have sent us back into our own world so often."
"No fear of that," said Aslan. "Have you not guessed?"
Their hearts leaped and a wild hope rose within them.
"There WAS a real railway accident," said Aslan softly. "Your father and mother and all of you are-as you used to call it in the Shadowlands-dead. The term is over; the holidays have begun. the dream is ended; this is the morning."
And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page; now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read; which goes on forever; in which every chapter is better than the one before.
When I first heard those words my heart leaped 'cause they expressed what my mind already knew. A great reminder that this life is not all there is to "life". It's just the beginning. Of course Jesus had already spoken those great words of peace that I memorized in VBS all those years ago.
“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.” Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." John 14:1-6
I am one whose heart is easily troubled. I am one who needs reminders, road markers, signs pointing me in the right direction. I am easily distracted. I just wish I remembered these words before I slumped down in the valley. The valleys do come. They vary in depth but the way out of them all are the same. Remember who you are and whose you are. Another reminder from a dear friend of mine, "Don't forget your fork 'cause the best is yet to come."
Lucy said, "We were afraid of being sent away, Aslan. And you have sent us back into our own world so often."
"No fear of that," said Aslan. "Have you not guessed?"
Their hearts leaped and a wild hope rose within them.
"There WAS a real railway accident," said Aslan softly. "Your father and mother and all of you are-as you used to call it in the Shadowlands-dead. The term is over; the holidays have begun. the dream is ended; this is the morning."
And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page; now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read; which goes on forever; in which every chapter is better than the one before.
When I first heard those words my heart leaped 'cause they expressed what my mind already knew. A great reminder that this life is not all there is to "life". It's just the beginning. Of course Jesus had already spoken those great words of peace that I memorized in VBS all those years ago.
“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.” Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." John 14:1-6
I am one whose heart is easily troubled. I am one who needs reminders, road markers, signs pointing me in the right direction. I am easily distracted. I just wish I remembered these words before I slumped down in the valley. The valleys do come. They vary in depth but the way out of them all are the same. Remember who you are and whose you are. Another reminder from a dear friend of mine, "Don't forget your fork 'cause the best is yet to come."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)