It Is Well with My Soul

Well, on this day in 2008, we had the girls' visitation at the church. We were overwhelmed at the outpouring of love that night. The night ended with a God moment. After most everyone had left we were still milling around the sanctuary. I was looking at the picture collages that Regina had put together. They were amazing. As I was heading back toward the front of the church, I found myself surrounded by a family we met through homeschooling. The father put his arm on my shoulder and they began singing IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. It was an incredible moment because that was the song that was on my heart as I rushed to the accident site 3 days earlier. It was also the song I couldn't seem to sing. I didn't sing any songs in those 3 days. But as the harmonies swelled throughout that beautiful sanctuary, I was able to join in on the 2nd verse through to the end. Our voices blended together perfectly. You could hear each breath in between phrases and the words echoing off the walls. It was one of the most moving moments of worship I have ever experienced. As the last note faded, it was quiet for what seemed like an eternity. Then we wiped our eyes and went home. 

Here's Selah's version of the song...it's not acappella but it's one of the best arrangements I've heard.

Thank You

As this day comes to a close, we want to thank everyone who lifted us up in their thoughts and prayers. We had a good day but that doesn't mean it was easy. There are no easy days. We call it our 'new normal'. Each day we choose how we will live. This is true of all of us regardless of our life circumstances. We have chosen to lean on God's faithfulness, His grace, mercy and love. Sometimes it's a subconscious choice, other days (most days) it is a very deliberate choice. We are not superhuman or super spiritual or super anything. We are nothing without Christ. If you have read some of my other posts you know there are days of questioning, longing, searching and days of peace, joy and celebration. The amazing thing is God isn't taken back by any of that. The up days, the down days, they are all the same for Him. He never changes. Our need for His strength never changes. Our need for your prayers also never changes. As you lift us up, we lift you up as well. It's all part of being the body of Christ. So, as I close today, my thoughts drift back to 3 years ago when the bottom completely fell out. There at the bottom was God and family and friends. We are blessed. Thank God for who He is and for what He has done for us and thank God for you all. Good night! U R loved!  

PS. This Rich Mullins song is my constant, well, near constant, prayer. mc

Celebrate

Today we celebrate life...we celebrate Kayla and Alicia's life, the 17 and 18 years they had here and the eternity they are enjoying now. A couple of friends have birthdays today, it's a reminder that life is precious, exciting and good. Remember what Jesus said, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?  When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.” “No, we don’t know, Lord,” Thomas said. “We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. If you had really known me, you would know who my Father is. From now on, you do know him and have seen him!” John 14:1-7

More Than You Know...

    Recent conversation..."I don't know what to say to you or even if I should say anything. I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you and your family and I'm praying for you." I want you to know that that means more to us than you may know. 
    Bonnie and I both have our places for expressing what we're thinking, mine is here, hers is on Facebook. We don't post to get reactions, we post to get thoughts out and to hopefully encourage others.We all face death. Either we've been through it, we're going through, or we will go through it. That's the reality of life.We don't like talking about it though. We may or may not be "scared" of death; that depends on our experiences. Sometimes I think with all our "reality" media that we are numbed to the reality of death. But we know that it happens. No, it's not easy. No, it's not fun. But, yes, it is real. If there is a "cool" side to death it's when people we know and love have a real relationship with Jesus Christ. It's only then that death loses it's sting.
    Then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 15:54b-57
  

Thinking Out Loud

3 years...36 months...156 weeks...1,092 days...26,208 hours...1,572,480 minutes. These are just numbers. This was yesterday. The 3rd Thursday in February crept up on me. I had been focusing on the date, that I almost forgot about the day. Yesterday was "wait at HuHot for over an hour to be seated for Janelle's birthday" day, "drive Mark's mom's car all over tarnation" day & "drive Sarah to work and go back to the party" day. 'Least that's what it was in 2008. Bonnie and Jeromy got haircuts yesterday which is the same thing they did 3 years ago along with Alicia. I don't remember much about the accident. I remember rushing out of the house...pulling up to the curve...meeting Sue...her telling me about Kayla...looking in the ambulance for a moment as they worked on Alicia...seeing Kayla in the back of the truck they'd placed her in...I don't remember the car...couldn't remember if it was right side up or upside down...did I even look down that hill?...I vaguely remember taking the phone from Sue 'cause she couldn't tell Bonnie what was going on and telling her that Kayla was gone, hearing her scream and all I could think was I gotta get back home. Mac drove me back home. I think I pounded on the dashboard a time or two. I tore up a Styrofoam cup and then apologized making some crack about it being a favorite cup or something stupid like that...I remember jumping when a hand touched my shoulder from the back of the truck. I didn't see Bulldog back there, how could I have missed Bulldog? We got home, got Bonnie and turned around to head back to the curve. As we arrived, the ambulance was leaving for the hospital. That 30 minute trip to Mexico seemed to take forever. When we got to the ER, they couldn't confirm if Alicia had arrived and asked us to wait. Crazy, crazy. Why can't I vividly remember details, at least those I think should be more important than Styrofoam cups? Have I blocked them out? Is God protecting me? I know others are haunted by the memories. I've never had a nightmare. Guess that was nightmare enough. One thing I remember though is the outpouring of love we received from our family and friends. I remember James and Nathan coming to the funeral home while we were making arrangements asking if they could do anything. We said they could make coffee, 'course they had to borrow a coffee maker from someone 'cause we don't drink it. I remember all the people who came to the church for the visitation. They re-routing the line like a ride at 6 Flags. The people on my right who were waiting to talk to us, hug us, cry with us, looked so sad, while the people who had gone through the line and to my left were talking and laughing some. It was like day and night. Then I had Tim and Wes and Raquel making funny comments and making me laugh. People must have thought we were crazy or in denial or something. Enough rambling for now...will continue throughout the weekend. 

Reflections on Valentine's Day

In our culture we love everything!  We love a pair of shoes or we love a movie or we love a favorite song or we love a puppy or we love a milkshake!  Sometimes I catch myself over-using this word “love,” and I have a hard time finding a different word to express what I’m feeling.  In the New Testament, there are several words used for love:
Philiais friendship, brotherly love
Erosis passionate love, with sensual desire and longing
Storgeis natural affection, like that felt by parents for their children
Agapeis a deep, self-sacrificing love
 
1 Corinthians 13 is commonly known as the “Love Chapter.”  The word “agape” is used in this passage.  Yesterday, I read that chapter inserting Jesus’ name in place of “love,” for as we read in God’s Word (specifically in 1 John 4:8 and 16), God IS love.  With each adjective, I tried to picture particular stories found in the Gospels that would back that attribute up.  Let me give you some examples:
 
Love is patient . . . Jesus was patient
I think of many stories where Jesus was patient with the disciples.  So often, they just “didn’t get it” when it came to spiritual issues.  And Jesus didn’t get frustrated with them, but he was patient and kind (the second adjective in 1 Cor. 13) as He dealt with these friends. Patience is also shown in God’s desire for all to come to know Him.
“The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness.  He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”  (1 Peter 3:9)
 
Love is kind . . . Jesus was kind
Jesus loved children, loved lepers, loved tax collectors . . . He loved the lowly and despised.  People desired to be around Him.  Crowds followed Him.  Men left their jobs and families to follow Him.  People are not drawn to the unkind.  Jesus was kind. 
 
Love does not envy . . . Jesus did not envy
Jesus wasn’t about storing up material things.  In fact, He instructed those who listened to Him NOT to do that.  He lived a simple life, telling His followers to take nothing for their journeys.  Not even “a staff, bread, a bag, money, or an extra tunic”.  (Luke 9:3).  When He was tempted by Satan in the wilderness, one of the devil’s offerings to Him was for Jesus to rule the world.  He modeled for us that the things of this world will not satisfy.
 
Love does not boast . . . Jesus did not boast
In fact, there were many times that Jesus healed a person and would tell them NOT to tell anyone about it!  Think of the many miraculous deeds that Jesus could have boasted about!
 
Jesus was not proud
He washed His disciples feet. 
He humbled Himself and became obedient to death, even death on a cross. (Phil. 2)
 
Jesus was not rude
Even when He was misunderstood. Even when He was mistreated.
 
Jesus was not self-seeking
How many times do we read that Jesus said, “I am about my Father’s business”?
 
Jesus was not easily angered
Yes, there are times when Jesus displayed righteous anger.  He turned over the tables of the moneychangers in the temple.  But He was not easily angered, and in His anger, He did not sin.
 
Jesus kept no record of wrongs
Think of the woman caught in the act of adultery.  Jesus did not condemn her.  He forgave her.  He LOVED.

Jesus did not delight in evil, but rejoiced in the truth.
He IS the way, the TRUTH and the life.
 
Jesus always protected, always trusted, always hoped, always persevered. 
 
Love never fails.
Jesus never fails!
 
And our attitudes should be the same as that of Christ Jesus (Phil. 2:5).  Don’t you appreciate how God reveals Himself through His word?  Jesus didn’t just say He was love and leave it at that.  No, He demonstrated His love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, He died for us!  (Romans 5:8).
 
May I encourage you to dwell on the One who personifies love to us,  Jesus Christ.  And may we look to Him as our example of what love really is. 

Beauty

I was driving around Rothwell Park seeing if the roads were clear and if we could bring Jeromy and some friends tomorrow to sled. As I was going through the park enjoying the beauty of all the snow, I thought "Man, the girls would have loved all this snow." Then in a microsecond a thought came to mind that they have/are beholding even more beautiful sights than I can imagine. And I was reminded of the lyric from Indescribable...

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go

Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow

Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light

Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night

None can fathom

They HAVE seen those heavenly storehouses. Then I simply sigh, cry, pray, sing, cry and sigh some more. To top it off, God, in His providence, allowed Matt Redman's You Never Let Go played on the radio. Most of the time my mourning ends in worship. Thank You, God, for Your promise to NEVER LET GO!

Time

February 2, 2011...a couple of people have made note on Facebook that it's been 3 years this month since they lost her "oldest and closest friends". We can't stop time. Now where the girls are they aren't controlled or constrained by time. Wonder what that is like. These past 1000 plus days seem like eternity to us. But what is it like for them? If we have to wait another 40-45 years to join them, does that time span mean anything in heaven? Will the eternity we spend together after the Second Coming be different than the eternity they are experiencing now? I guess eternity is eternity.  I know one thing, Kayla and Alicia don't worry about time. They just are enjoying the presence of the Son!