Growing

     I've been reminded of an old Wayne Watson song:

I'm growing. 

I don't like it.

I'm growing, and it hurts.

I love You, but I'm tired.

Guess I've got a lot to learn.

Yeah, I guess I've got a lot to learn.

     Do you ever wanna be the potter and not the clay? I think we all live under the illusion that we're in control. We're just a lump of clay. Somehow, because of free will, not fwee wiwwy, (momentary lapse, thanks Lyle) we can either ignore God's shaping or have some sorta input on it. I don't know how God works that. Most of the time we mess up the handiwork. We've all heard that God don't make junk. We can't blame Him for that, most of the time we bear the burden of "junking" ourselves up. 
     I wanna be what God wants and not what I want but I've been working on what I want for so long I don't know how to let go. But if I realize I'm not holding on to whatever it is, God is, then I don't havta let go. Oh my, what a paradox. (I hope I'm using that word correctly.) God help me to just be clay moldable in your hands. You may havta pour water over me to loosen up the hard parts. You may havta collapse me and start all over again. Lord, I don't know what You havta do, just make me into what You have in mind. This is my prayer today.