Understanding God

This blog entry began over a month ago. Not sure it makes any more sense today than it did when I began it. 

Does anyone else have difficulty understanding God? I know that God has revealed His mystery to us, but I've never been too good with mysteries, even those that are known. God showed us a glimpse of who he is through Jesus. Jesus said if you've seen Me you've seen the Father...if you know Me, you know the Father. I've known Jesus for all my life so it seems, been in a personal relationship with Him for 40+ years but feel as if I'm just scratching the surface on this relationship thing. I want my prayer to echo Paul's when he said  "I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,  and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." But I'm not too sure about the participating in the suffering part. I may be ready for the power of the resurrection though. But here's the deal...Paul has them in reverse order. Jesus didn't experience the resurrection power until after the suffering and death part. Ok, so maybe I'm not ready for either. Can I just say I want to know Christ? But I want more than just knowledge, many people "know" about Christ. I want it to go deeper. Another sobering reality. The depth of this relationship, as in any of my relationships, is gauged on my willingness to be known. As I type, this blows my mind...Christ knows me, knows all about me. The me that everyone else sees, the me that no one else sees. Nothing is hidden from Him. Very much different from some other relationship where I tend to just show my "good" side. This has taken an interesting turn from understanding to knowing. When we share with others and say "I know what you're talking about", that simply means I've heard similar stories of that kind of life experience from others. When we say "I understand what you're saying", doesn't that imply mutual experience? I've been there. So, God knows and understands me but I simply know. Is that where faith and trust kick in? There are definite things I know about God but even those things I don't truly understand. Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief. So for now I'll concentrate on the knowing. "Knowing You Jesus, knowing You. There is no greater thing. You're my all. You're the best. You're my joy my righteousness. And I love You, Lord." 

Worship Is a Choice

Worship is always a choice. At times it’s an easy, straightforward one. When life is peaceful and painless, the choice to respond to God in thanksgiving and praise may not be such a hard one to make. But at other times in our lives, worship becomes a much gutsier decision. Caught up a midst a whirlwind of pain and confusion, the decision to cry out, “Yet I will praise You,” is a costly act of devotion.

In the life of every worshiper there will come times when worship meets with suffering. And these moments shape what kind of worshippers we will become. Yes, praise be to God for times of abundance and plenty in our lives—those carefree days full of peace and laughter. Yet we praise Him also in the wilderness times—those dark and stormy seasons of the soul when we’re left crying out with the psalmist, “How long, O LORD, how long?” (Psalm 6:3).

When trials come, trust must arise. When there’s nothing to rock the boat, our trust in God is rarely tested. Seasons of stillness and calm are wonderful; yet before too long the winds will start to gather, and we’ll find ourselves caught up once again in the storms of life. The question then is this: Can we still find our way to the place of praise?

We may have faith to believe in God as Lord of the calm—but do we also have faith to believe in Him as Lord of the storm? He is Lord of both the hurricane and the gentle breeze. The One who rules and reigns a midst all of the earthquakes of this life—those times when our whole world seems to be shaking and breaking apart.

Note the heart posture of a Nazi concentration-camp prisoner who once scribbled these lines onto the wall of his cell:

I believe in the sun

Even when it is not shining.

I believe in love

Even when I feel it not.

I believe in God

Even when He is silent.

Yes, every act of worship is a choice—a decision to believe and respond to God for who He says He is—no matter how pressing our circumstances. And the greater the pain we’re experiencing, the greater a choice it may be. Sometimes we will walk blindly, unable to understand why we are going through a certain situation—our only comfort being the knowledge that God Himself is not walking blindly, but instead is wisely, kindly and firmly in control. Indeed, as we will begin to see, so often our Father in heaven will take our broken moments and weave them into a powerful tapestry to the glory of His name.

Long Time in Coming

Well it's been almost 3 months since my last post. Haven't looked back to see if this  is my longest break without a post or not. Many things have happened since June. VBS...Association Camp...Canada Mission Trip...moved family into Moberly after living in the country for 16 years...celebrated Kayla's 24th birthday. A constant is God's faithfulness. This may sound like a broken record. Pretty sure I've referenced God's faithfulness several times throughout the life of this blog. Brings to mind several songs...Great Is Thy Faithfulness, Your Grace Is Enough, Grace Greater than Our Sin, Amazing Grace, Grace Like Rain, Farther than Your Grace Can Reach, What Grace Is Mine, Grace Flows Down...just to name a few.

I'm sure I could find a video for any of these songs but tonight I want to go with the Gettys at Shadow Mountain Community Church in San Diego.

 

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13

Is there a benefit in believing in God? Paul prays that God the Father, the God of hope, fill us with joy and peace. Not just a teaspoon or pint or quart or even gallon of joy and peace but Paul asks God to fill us with ALL joy and peace. This joy is beyond mere happiness and this peace is more than just an easy feeling. I believe this is a joy and peace that passes all understanding. And through the power of the Holy Spirit we have a hope that overflows. Joy, peace, hope...these are three attributes of God that we need in our lives. Regardless of who you are or where you are in your walk with Christ, we can have a joy, peace and hope that sustains us through every aspect of life.

If these were the only benefits in believing in God, they would be more than sufficient. But we also receive eternal life, forgiveness for sins, a relationship with God our Father, through His Son, Jesus Christ, grace, mercy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control, the Holy Spirit living in our lives and so much more. He has blessed with with EVERY spiritual blessing.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. Ephesians 1:3-4

Promises

Standing on the promises I cannot fail
When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail
By the living word of God I shall prevail
Standing on the promises of God!

In Christ, all God's promises are YES...2 Corinthians 1:20...Mark's translation

We are, at times, flippant with the word 'promise'. 

I promise...to spend more time with you.
I promise...to get you a kitten if...
I promise...I'll be on time from my date
I promise...to eat my veggies

When God makes a promise, there is no doubt that He will keep it. 

- I will never leave you or forsake you...YES
- If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us...YES
- Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest...YES
- Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength, they will mount up with eagle's wings, they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not faint...YES
- And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord...YES

The question that God asks you is this: Are you living in the fullest enjoyment of God's YES to you in Christ Jesus? Or to put it another way: Have you said yes to all of God's YES to you? Is there any of God's YES to you to which you are saying NO or MAYBE or NOT NOW? Let our consecration to God be this: This is the time of my YES to you, O God. I consecrate myself to forsake the NO and the MAYBE and the NOT NOW of my unbelief. And I say YES to everything in your YES to me. (John Piper)

Beautiful Day

It's a beautiful day today. Cool breeze, mild temp. Not bad for June. Why is it that days like today get our attention? Would I say it was a beautiful day if it were raining cats and dogs? What if it were miserably hot and humid? Would that still constitute as a beautiful day? "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118:24) Ever wonder what the weather was like on the day David penned that? Maybe it wasn't perfect and he decided to worship anyway. If you look at all of chapter 18, it's a psalm of thanksgiving. It was a day of victory. Maybe it's just me but that would mean that there had been some difficult days preceding the victory. Days of intense battle. Days of fatigue. We've all had those days. Regardless of the circumstances, may I have the spirit of David and say Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice...worship...praise...sing...and be glad...thankful...happy...blessed in it.

Seeking God

Quick thought...

I love those who love me, and those who SEEK me find me. Prov. 8:17 

You will SEEK me and find me when you SEEK me with all your heart. Jer. 29:13

⁸ Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who SEEK the Lord rejoice! SEEK the Lord and his strength; SEEK his presence continually! 1 Chr. 16:8-11

But SEEK first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matt. 6:33

What am I seeking? I don't like looking for things. I want to just find them. I have 'male pattern seeking syndrome'. I glance around quickly and if I don't see what I'm looking for, it's obviously not there. Unfortunately, I do the same with God. God isn't hiding like in Hide and Seek, but I don't seek Him with ALL MY HEART nor do I seek His presence CONTINUALLY and I don't always seek His kingdom FIRST. Usually it's last. 

My honest prayer is simple...God, reveal Yourself to me. I just want to see without seeking. 

Maybe I should try it God's way.

Prayer

We talked about prayer at the Bi-monthly Association Pastors' Prayer Meeting today. I haven't been going but am glad I was there today. We were discussing praying for healing, specifically, and seeking discernment on how to do that correctly/honestly. This is one of the verses that came to mind as we were talking. 'The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective' from James 5:16. That's not the whole verse though. The verse says...'Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.' 

Are we missing out on something because we don't confess our sins to one another? We have a difficult time even confessing our sins to God much less to others. What would they think? Too many of us have become Americanized plastic Christians. Not sure if that's too harsh or too general? I don't believe we should broadcast our sins over the airwaves but what would happen if we did confess to each other without the fear of ridicule or condemnation? 

Christ came to give us life, abundant life, real life. Maybe it begins in 1 John when he wrote...'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.' 1 John 1:9 So we confess our sins to God and totally believe that He will and does forgive us and stop wallowing around in self-pity and shame as if God's forgiveness isn't enough. We remember that God not only forgives but forget. That's not because He has a bad memory either. It's because of His great love. 'For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.' Psalm 103:11-12

What I'm beginning to see is this boils down to relationship...our relationship with God and with others. 

Just some thoughts...

Snow

O God, I sense that You're there. I sense You not with my physical eyes, but with my spiritual ones. And yet, there seems to be a distance between us. I don't know if I've caused the rift by my selfishness and sin and envy of others or maybe my past mistakes or my guilt and regrets. But for whatever reason, You seem far away. And right now I need You close by. I'm reaching out to You the best I know how and You're still out of reach, so reach out to me, Father! Take my hand and touch my heart. Spread Your Spirit over my wounds and heal me from my lingering injuries of past mistakes. O Lord, cover my life like snow. The winter landscape of my soul is vast and frozen. Cover me with Yourself like a glistening blanket of snow from Your storehouses. Cover me with Your purity and Your holiness. The land cannot rise up to greet the snow, and I cannot rise up to greet You because my selfish tendencies hold me down. So fall upon me, O God! I will receive You. I will welcome You. That much I can do. I greet the snowflakes of Your grace as they fall upon my soul...

Remind me that my longing for You itself is evidence of Your presence. My desire for Your intimacy is a clue to Your work within my soul. Wherever my life leads me, remind me that You're already there waiting for me. However abandoned I may feel, remind me that You'll never, ever leave me. Despite the hatred in the world, remind me that nothing can separate me from Your love. However desperately I may seek You, remind me that You sought me first and I can only find You when I find myself in the center of Your love. Remind me that however lost I feel sometimes, I'm still on a journey. You are the path beneath my feet, the sun that lights my way, the companion by my side and the final destination that I seek. Remind me that it's not the depth of my longing that brings You close, but the length of Your grace extended down toward my heart...

5 Years

5 years...60 months...it's hard to believe this much time has gone by. The weather is similar to that day. Nothing really happening this morning. But a huge storm is supposed to head this way later. The weather wasn't that bad 5 years ago. We traveled to town in the morning for Bonnie & Alicia to get a haircut. I hung out at the church. I went back to town that afternoon for who knows why. I came back home around 3:30. The roads were clear. Alicia's wipers were sorta bad and I thought about traveling on to Mexico to Wal-Mart to replace them. But I decided they were ok. Almost as soon as I got home Alicia asked if she could go to town early to hang out with Nora before she went to work. Surprisingly, Kayla asked if she could go to the library and then I'd go to town later to get her. I did question her some and offered to take her myself but she wanted to go with Alicia. Looking back, we'd do the same thing. The weather didn't look all that bad, the roads were ok. Who could have guessed? Well, God knew. Again, I'll say what I've said for years, that day didn't take God by surprise. God continues to be in control of the WHOLE world. We would be lost without Him in so many ways. We are so thankful for family and friends who continue to love us and pray for us and support us. We love being loved by you. We love you all.

God's Love

The LORD is COMPASSIONATE and GRACIOUS, SLOW to ANGER, ABOUNDING in LOVE.

For GOD so LOVED the WORLD that He GAVE His ONE & ONLY SON that WHOEVER BELIEVES in HIM will NOT PERISH but will HAVE ETERNAL LIFE. 

GREATER LOVE has NO one than this: to LAY DOWN ONE'S LIFE for ONE'S FRIEND.

But God DEMONSTRATES his OWN LOVE FOR US in this: While WE were STILL SINNERS, CHRIST DIED FOR US.

Dreams

Joseph, not Mary's husband, had a dream. Mary's husband had a dream, too but, that isn't the dream I'm referring to. So, Joseph had a dream. This dream came before he was interpreting dreams so, I don't think he fully understood what the dream meant. Was there a time while he was in Egypt that he did understand what those early dreams meant? When his brothers came to town looking for food, did that dream pop back into his head? Did he have a 'Yeah, God' moment when he realized his dreams actually came true after all those years?Years of slavery, years of imprisonment, years of disappointments, years of lost dreams.

What about you and me? What are our dreams? Where have those dreams gone? Are we living them? Are they buried deeply, safely in our hearts where no one knows about them? I was reminded by a internet security question which asked 'Who did you want to be when you were little'? My answer...Superman. I have the scar on my shin to prove it as I attempted to fly with a bath towel secured around my neck with a wooden clothespin off a green metal lawn chair. They don't make those kind of chairs anymore. I dreamed of being the next Larry Bird for a few months, then I tried out for JV basketball and it has HARD, I quit after a week of practices. My dream of being the next Larry Bird turned into a fantasy as I played through game scenarios on the church's court late nights by myself. 

I was reminded tonight that life isn't about my agenda or trying to figure out my story. It's about living out God's story through me. Throughout the Bible we read so many stories and if we aren't careful we can say, 'look at the story of Moses or Abraham or Peter or Paul.' But it's really not about them. It's about how God continued to tell His redemptive story through them. God is still telling His story through our lives, our dreams, our mountain peaks and valleys. We are all part of this beautiful tapestry. Unfortunately, we only see a small portion and it usually doesn't look like much. But from God's point of view, it's exactly as He knew it would be. 

So, whether we're living our dreams or even in the middle of life's worst nightmare, we need to realize that we are all part of God's dream. His dream to be our Father. His dream to be our Refuge. His dream to be our Shepherd. To me, this brings great comfort because God's dreams always come true.

2012 Is Done...2013 Has Just Begun

I can honestly say I was glad to see 2012 come to an end. It's been a long year. There have been so many good things and a few not as good. Thankful that God makes "all things new". I pray that as He continues to make 'all things new' that He also continues to make me new as well. He has promised, "He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it." How I long for that completion but I know it's a journey. As I journey I am so thankful for all those who are walking with me; Bonnie, family, friends...I would be lost without you all. I know it's cliche-ish but it's true. I may not know what the future holds but I know who holds the future.