Oh God!

Oh God, where were You?
Oh God, why did this happen?
Oh God, can You make sense of any of this?
Oh God, how can we move forward?
Oh God, have you forsaken us?

I've thought these questions before. Recently, because of the news events of the past week, I've been thinking them again. The answers are the same.

Oh God, where were You? 
    I was right there in the midst of the tragedy. I am always here.
Oh God, why did this happen? 
    Ultimately, it's because of man's sinful nature. Because of man's rebellion, the world is evil. 
Oh God, can You make sense of any of this? 
    Actually it does make sense to Me but it probably won't make sense to you.
Oh God, how can we move forward? 
    You move forward one step at a time. One moment at a time. You move forward with My arms wrapped around you. You move forward because I move forward.
Oh God, have you forsaken us?
    I will NEVER leave you or forsake you!

Even though I can type my shallow "God" answers, it doesn't mean I understand them completely. Remember God's ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. 

That first Christmas story had tragedy connected to it as well as Herod, full of fear and jealousy, had baby boys slaughtered in Bethlehem. We would like to think that Herod is dead but apparently he was alive again in Connecticut last week and still after our children. 

In reality, in times like these there are no words and if words are spoken they can be stupid as some of these words may be. 

I don't know why this happened and even if I did it wouldn't be reason enough for us. Even if we could ask the gunman what was going on in his mind. No matter how bad things were in his life,  I am sure they were not bad enough to kill 20 children. It just doesn't make sense. It probably never will.

We live under the illusion that we have some sense of control. The only one with control, the only one in control is He who has been in control from before time began.

I pray for those families, we know what it's like to lose a child, to lose children suddenly, although not by a senseless act of violence. I pray for the first-responders, the police officers, the firemen, the paramedics who rushed in there trying to save those kids. NO, you don't get use to it. NO, you don't get over. I pray for our nation whose life seems to be slowly robbed from us. I pray for our churches, now is the time to say this Christmas, JESUS IS HERE! He is Emmanuel, GOD WITH US. The Good News of Christmas isn't Christ is coming but CHRIST IS HERE! He is the hope of the world. 

Christmas Thought 2012

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. (Luke 2:1 KJV).

'And it came to pass in those days' is an interesting way to begin the Christmas story. It almost sounds like, oh yeah and by the way, it just so happened that there was a census that was being taken at this particular time in this part of the world. Wow! What a coincidence that these events would happen causing Joseph, David's descendant, to have to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem with Mary so that Jesus could be born away from all of Mary and Joseph's families in the uncomfortable surroundings of a stable, just to fulfill Micah's prophecy. 'Bethlehem Ephrathah, you are small among the clans of Judah; One will come from you to be ruler over Israel for Me. His origin is from antiquity, from eternity. Micah 5:2 (HCSB)

But we know the whole story and we know that with God nothing is hap instance. Galatians 4:4-7 tell us...'But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. (ESV). So, in God's perfect timing, everything fell into place to keep God's word true about everything that had been prophesied about the coming Messiah. And Paul reminds us that Jesus' mission was to redeem us and to restore us into a right relationship with Father God; a relationship of son-ship and not slavery. That is the greatest Christmas gift ever. 

 

Holy, Holy, Holy

Each of these living beings had six wings, and their wings were covered all over with eyes, inside and out. Day after day and night after night they keep on saying,“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty—the one who always was, who is, and who is still to come.” (Revelation 4:8)

In reading today's devotion by Matt Redman, I was reminded of the holiness, the 'otherness' as Matt puts it, of God. When those around the throne worship God with 'Holy, Holy, Holy', it isn't because they are at a loss for words and are simply repeating themselves. To me, they are saying God is holy, layered with holiness and bond by holiness. It's sorta like God is holy cubed. In reality, He is holy to infinity and beyond. I know this is a very feeble attempt at explaining the holiness of God but since I am a feeble man that's ok.

Here is a link to Steven Curtis Chapman's arrangement of Holy, Holy, Holy sung at First Presbyterian Church in Lakeland, FL
http://youtu.be/R62yy-HRn0I

Afterthoughts

These words came to mind after listening to a webinar with Keith Getty...

When the world crumbles beneath my feet
When all I've known is shattered
When yesterday is just a dream
And tomorrow doesn't matter

When I stumble and lose my way
And my tearstained face is...
When...

You are my hope
You are my peace
You're the One who breathes life into me
You are my joy
You are my love 
Without You...

You hold me together
I'm secure in the palm of Your hand
When it makes no sense to me
I know it's all part of Your plan

To be continued...

October 17th

Today is October 17, 2012...22 years ago today (on a Wednesday, too) in Raleigh, NC Alicia Grace Carter was born. 

What would we be doing today if she were still here? Would we have planned a trip to Hannibal to surprise her at HLG or would we have planned a party last weekend or this weekend for her? She may have been getting ready to graduate (WOW! can't imagine being the father of a college graduate) and spreading her wings in the REAL world. I wonder what career she would have finally landed on? She talked about music and fashion designing, what a combo. Or would God have steered her in another direction while in school? These are things we will never know. But there are things we do know. We do know she is in her Father's presence worshiping Him. She is spending time with Jesus, doing whatever brothers and sisters do in heaven (She is a joint heir with Christ, which makes her Jesus' sister). She is sharing eternity with Kayla and other family and friends who have gone before us. Sounds like a pretty sweet birthday to me. Can't imagine imagining the heavenly choir singing 'Happy Birthday' to her. I wonder if they celebrate two birthdays a year in heaven. One for their natural birth and one for their spiritual rebirth. Course, since there is no time in heaven, this is probably all silly in the scope of the everlasting. 

Tears well up, tears of happiness and of sorrow mixed in together. Guess that's why it's called 'bittersweet'. Tears of hope and of joy. Tears of anticipation and longing (kind of the same thing, I guess). Tears of love. One day...one day...one day we will be together again...FOREVER. That one day can't come soon enough!

Happy Birthday, Alicia! I love you! Can't wait to hear you say those beautiful five words to me again.

I LOVE YOU, TOO, DADDY.

3 Months

Wow...I can't believe I haven't blogged in over 3 months. Well, a lot has happened, too much to mention here. I have recently had a fresh encounter with God's mercy and grace. It's been like having new life breathed into me. How people live life without Christ is beyond my comprehension. If not for Christ, I'd be a total wreck. Here's a classic song that sums up the last 3 months.

Again?

It has happened again...another student from Paris, MO has lost her life. Another car accident. Again, I have questions that will probably remain unanswered. In the almost 15 years that we have been in MO at least a half a dozen Paris area students have lost their lives as a result of car accidents. This doesn't include the 3 or 4 I can think of that died from cancer or some other kind of disease. Once again, the student who is gone had a connection with FBC, Paris. The last 5, 2 brothers, 2 sisters and now Mary, participated in children's and/or youth activities within the church. What is God trying to say to us? Do these things keep happening because we aren't listening? These are just a couple of the unanswerable questions bouncing around in my head. I was reminded today that ONE DAY we will know and understand; which is true. But in light of eternity, will these temporary earthly problems even be a memory or will they flee away like a bad dream? 


These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever. 

(2 Corinthians 4:17-18, The Message) 

My prayers go out for the Anglen family. I remember how the unceasing prayers of others helped us, are continuing to help us, through this time in our lives.

Confession

"O God, we give glory to you all day long and constantly praise your name." Psalm 44:8 (NLT)...This verse is on our church sign. I put it there yesterday. Unlike church signs with clever or cute or convicting sayings, I have chosen to put God's word on display. I think we should let God's word speak for itself. That passage is easy to read but hard to live...God forgive me for giving Your glory (which I really can't) to lesser things. I blew it big time today. I do want my goal to be to give You glory all the time in everything I say, do, think, read, watch, etc. I was blindsided by "innocence" or so it seemed. Gotta remember daily to put on the full armor of God so I can withstand Satan's evil schemes.

 

Broken Record

I know I may sound like a broken record but I love living in the country. As I was walking today I saw at least 4 different kinds of wild flowers/weeds...there were mini daisy like flowers, purple clover, yellow daisy like flowers, purple something else kinda flowers. It was beautiful. In one part of the field there was a large patch of the mini daisies. I thought about how cool it would be to just lay down in the middle of them and look up in the sky and dream...good idea except for the tics and snakes and who knows what. I know I'm a wimp. I thought Alicia would and smiled. Then I thought David would have laid there and then written a psalm. Then again maybe he did do something like that..."The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,  the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it on the seas and established it on the waters. Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god. They will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God their Savior. Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, God of Jacob. Lift up your heads, you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors,  that the King of glory may come in. Who is this King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle. Lift up your heads, you gates; lift them up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in. Who is he, this King of glory? The Lord Almighty — he is the King of glory." Psalm 24. Just a thought.

Oh What a Beautiful Day

I ended my blog abruptly this morning 'cause it was time to leave with Rich to head to our conference in IL. Went to one of Rich's kids home where he fixed a bathroom sink and a clothes dryer in like, 15 minutes. May have taken me 15 days to do that. Then we went to his home in Wood River where we loaded some more of their stuff on a trailer and set other stuff out for a yard sale tomorrow. It wasn't what I had planned but I really didn't have a plan other than being with Rich and his family until we got to the hotel. I helped put stuff in the back of his truck and in the trailer. It was a 2 hour ordeal. It wasn't that big a deal for me because it was a beautiful day. Some time after 6 Rich asked if I wanted to eat dinner with some of their friends or go to the hotel. I choose the hotel. Although I am very comfortable with Rich and his family, really didn't want to be a fifth wheel. So we headed to Litchfield. I thought it'd take 30 mins or so and Rich could make it back for dinner. The drive was very beautiful. There were rolling hills and farm land. One part of the road was canopied with trees. Wow. The ride took longer than I expected. Didn't get to the hotel until after 7. Rich decided not to go back and got permission from his wife to do so. We went out to eat at a local steak house. It was very good. I am loving getting to know my new pastor. He has great stories and a unique sense of humor. We are definitely working toward an 'as iron sharpens iron' kind of relationship. He's the main sharpener at this time and I am the sharpenee. Overall it has been a very good day. I don't know all I'm in store for tomorrow as I go to this Relational Discipleship Conference. I am doing my best to be open. Going back to this morning's blog...I am thankful to be an American. It is not a right, it is a blessing. I had no part in choosing where I would be born. One of the things MyPraiseFM is promoting is a mission trip to Ethiopia this September. They've been talking about the sanitary conditions there which added to my ponderings of living without shoes. Jeromy can run around the yard and into the road barefoot. I am amazed and again very thankful. Thank you God is not spoken lightly today. Good night all and be thankful...you can pick what you're thankful for but be thankful and then give thanks to Jehovah Jireh, our Provider!

Oh What a Beautiful Morning

If you follow my blog, you know I've started walking...on week 5 now. There are a couple of things I'm enjoying as I walk. One...is the beautiful country scenery around me. Today was I walked outside I looked up and noticed a perfectly blue sky with absolutely no clouds. I did a quick 360 and there were no clouds anywhere. What a sight. A couple of days ago as I walked to the east it was cloudy with the sun peeking through what looked like 2 eyeballs and to the west blue skies with wispy clouds. Just B-U-T-full. The number B thing...I love is the time to pray for my family and friends. Today there were 2 or 3 people on my mind in particular and I was thankful to have the opportunity to intercede on their behalf. Letter 3...I listen to music as I walk. Within the first week of walking I rediscover MyPraiseFM in Oklahoma. (Google it, it's good...mellow but good) The week of Easter they played songs all about Holy Week, the cross and resurrection. They played some classics from Steve Green, Sandi Patty and others. It was very inspiring to hear the Greatest Story Ever Told through songs. Their Morning Show with Andy and Jenn. is fun to listen to and quite inspiring at times. Most mornings I hear a great song that stays with me throughout the day. The fourth thing...I enjoy about walking is it has given me time to think. Not that my life is so hectic that I can't think but this is uninterrupted think time. So, as I was walking and praying and looking and listening and thinking, (Guys can multitask) down our dirt and gravel road, this thought crossed my mind...I wonder what it's like in many countries around the world who have to walk their streets, roads, beaten paths without shoes. I know I would have a hard time with that because my feet, like most of me, aren't very tough. We seen mission videos over the years emphasizing the importance of foot care in less fortunate places on this globe. Today those were brought back to my memory. I am so grateful for shoes. God help those who don't. 

Going Back in Time

Sunday night we were transported back in time for a moment. The HLGU Chamber Choir led us in worship. One of the songs they sang was 'It Is Well with My Soul'. Nathan shared Horatio Spafford's tragic story that led to the writing of this beloved hymn. Oh, forgot to tell you something about the Choir...they are an a cappella choir. After the story, Nathan began singing...'when peace like a river...' When he got to the chorus, the choir, who were sitting on the front row, joined in. That's when the transportation began. It ushered us back to that Sunday night in February '08 when the Couture family broke out in song, again a cappella, in the back of the sanctuary at FBC, Paris. It was a heavenly sound once again. I cried...Bonnie cried...Jeromy cried, which is kind of a mystery because he wasn't there that night in '08, but he's heard us tell that part of our story. We've sung that hymn several times since that fateful night but I'm pretty sure it was always accompanied by piano. So Sunday night when the harmonies of the chorus bounced off the walls, it hit us like a crashing wave on the ocean. Thanks guys and gals in the Chamber Choir for singing from your hearts in a way that pierced our hearts as well. 

'And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.'

Through

Before you read this, grab your Bible and take a moment to review the third chapter of Daniel. This is the great story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego – men who chose to stand for their faith, absolutely believing in God’s faithfulness and His plan for their lives. They had refused to bow to the king’s idols. And the king, in his rage, ordered them to be thrown into a furnace that had been heated 7 times hotter than usual. Before being thrown into the fire (and actually, they were pushed into the fire because the soldiers who were in charge of getting them into the furnace were killed by the flames outside the furnace!), Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego said, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us . . . but even if He does not, we will not serve your gods, O King.” (Daniel 3:17-18). Wow, that is faith. Now here’s a question. In that moment, could God have just rescued them and saved them from even being thrown into this oven? Of course! But to show His awesome power, He allowed them to walk THROUGH the fire.

Here’s a dictionary definition of “through” – from beginning to end; completely.

Isaiah 43 says this:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you.  I have summoned you by name. You are mine.  When you pass THROUGH the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass THROUGH the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk THROUGH the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God; the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” (Isaiah 43:1b-3a)

This passage begins with a powerful statement: “Fear not, I have redeemed you.” Before we walk THROUGH waters, rivers, and fire, we have to remember this fact: the big problem has already been solved! You had the worst imaginable problem that required the greatest imaginable sacrifice, and God took care of it when Jesus gave His life for you on the cross! You have been chosen, called by name, and redeemed from the pit! Remembering this helps us to have perspective on the difficulties that we are faced with day to day. James MacDonald said it this way, “You put your kid through college, you pay for all the textbooks, supplies, room and board, tuition and everything else involved for 4 years. Now, it’s all about to be celebrated with a diploma, signifying the next season in your child’s life. So, your son or daughter comes to you panicked and says, ‘I just found out I won’t get to graduate! I owe $20 more to the bookstore and they say I can’t graduate!’  Big problem or small problem? Will that be taken care of? After everything we’ve already done, won’t that be an easy one to handle?” And that’s what God says, “Look, I’ve redeemed you!  The worst possible problem has been solved!”

When you pass THROUGH the waters, I will be with you.
When you pass THROUGH the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk THROUGH the fire, you will not be burned.

Sometimes, we try to go around the problem. Let’s find the easy way out and avoid this altogether. But our trials have purpose in our lives. And going around the problem is a very bad plan. God desires for you to go THROUGH. That’s when He has promised to be present.

God was present with Moses and the children of Israel as they passed THROUGH the Red Sea.

David was delivered by the hand of the Lord as he fought THROUGH battle after battle against God’s enemies.

Jesus protected the disciples in the boat THROUGH the storm.

“Even though I walk THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me . . . “ (Psalm 23:4)

Back to Daniel 3 . . . God was with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego as they walked THROUGH the fire. He even physically joined them in the midst of it. Yes, the king and his men visibly saw a fourth man who looked like a “son of the gods.” And here’s one more amazing detail about this story. Notice verses 20 and 23 that spoke of the men being tied tightly by the strongest of soldiers before they were cast into the furnace. In verse 25, we see that when they were walking around in the fire, unhurt, unburned, and later, not even smelling of smoke, the 3 men were “unbound.” In the midst of the fire, God removed their chains! Wow! As we are going THROUGH our deepest circumstances, God is not only with us, He is releasing shackles that have held us!  “Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations.  Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.” (James 1:2-3, amplified). We don’t always embrace going THROUGH painful times. But oh, how sweet it is on the other side, when we have truly experienced God’s presence and known His faithful ways. - copied

 

Walking

Be patient...long story coming...this is what happens when you go for long periods without blogging.


I started walking 2 1/2 weeks ago. We live out in the country at a crossroads. The road going north is the least traveled so that's the one I walk. The road is lined with power poles.  The first day I walked a little over a mile. When I got home I thought I might die. The next day I decided to go one more power pole further and the next one more pole. My shins were hurting badly that week but I continued walking. 


Week 2 - I decided to walk to the end of the road which runs into a black top. That is approximately 1 mile, one way. My shins had stopped hurting by now, but the muscles or tendons or ligaments, whatever they are, right behind both knees started hurting as badly as my shins had the previous week. By last Wednesday, that pain had let up though. On Thursday, it was raining. I decided not to walk and just got ready for a normal day. Thursday is trash day, so I took the trash out to the end of our driveway. As I did, I noticed it wasn't raining and thought I could at least get in a mile before I leave for church.  All the roads around our home are dirt/gravel. The rain had made them muddy too. I was trying to find the driest wet parts of the road. As I did I left footprints and my shoes were quite muddy when I got home. 


Thursday night I got sick and was miserable throughout the weekend, so I didn't walk. 


This Monday I began my routine again (not sure if 2 weeks=routine though... :-] ). We had a couple of days without rain, but because the road isn't traveled much, it had dried pretty much as it was on the previous Thursday. I didn't notice at first but as I continued to walk I realized that my footprints which I had made four days before were still very visible. 


This made me think about the kind of impressions we leave behind in our lives. In my life. I didn't realize I was leaving a lasting impression on that Thursday, but it was very evident where I had been on Monday. Because we haven't gotten rain yet, the footprints were still visible Tuesday and again today. I look back over my life and wonder, "What kind of impressions have I left on life's path?" Because of my character flaws, I want to think that I have left a good impression everywhere I've been because I don't want anyone to think badly of me. I know that's a pipe dream and slowly, s..l..o..w..l..y, I am learning it not about me. 


I've been reading through the Psalms recently. David is one of my favorite Bible characters. But as I read some of the Psalms I think David is pretty arrogant. Time and again, he says he is blameless before God or in, what appears to me to be, an almost perfect relationship with God. Part of me wonders how that could be. I am jealous because I don't have, have never had, that kind of relationship with God. I've been reminded that it's because he walked with God and was honest with God. He cried out in desperation for God not to forsake him or begged for Him to listen and answer Him or wondered how long God would seem so distant from Him and usually before the psalm would end he was worshiping God for all He is.


I love David because he is known as a man after God's own heart. That is encouraging for me because that is the impression I want to leave behind, too. It's encouraging because we know that David wasn't perfect. He screwed up big time. I know there are no degrees of sin but I haven't screwed up as badly as David did. And if David can, after all we know about him, be known as a man after God's own heart, then there is still some hope for me. 


These past 4 years or more I feel like I've been plodding through life on auto-pilot. Now, I am seeing that, as unintentionally as it may be, I have neglected people in my life, I've neglected God, I've neglected things that I said were important to me. I want to be...I don't know the right word to plug in here. I know and have stated in the past that I don't change well. Today, I want to do 'it' differently...one step at a time.   

Saturday/Sunday

     After Jesus' burial the Bible is silent on what happened in between Good Friday and Easter. We know that the disciples scattered from the garden at Jesus' arrest. Peter did show back up for a while during Jesus' trial before he denied Him three times. John was at the cross with Jesus' mother. Did they all meet up again Saturday or did they just go to their homes? They had been with Jesus for three plus years. They heard all His teachings and saw all His miracles. They were even able to do miracles themselves through Jesus' power. We wonder how they could just move on with their lives, but we have the advantage of knowing the whole story. Although they had just days before seen Lazarus raised from the dead after being in the grave for 4 days. No one had ever done that. Yes, Jesus stopped funerals and even raised the dead before the funeral, but people dead for 4 days stay dead. People dead for 1 day stay dead. And although we know the story, we would have been just as scared and skeptical. Jesus had even told them He would have to go to the cross and be raised from the dead.  But they didn't get it. Saturday, I wonder if they tried to imagine life before Jesus had called them and if they could ever return to their fishing boats, their tax collector's table and their families. Their rabbi, who had invested His life into theirs, was gone. Now what, now where, now how, now why would they, could they, continue on with their lives. Scripture tells us that the day went dark during Jesus' crucifixion and that the sun rose as normal on Easter morning but on Saturday did creation continue to mourn the Creator's death with a dreary, miserable day? Even if the day was normal it would have seemed dark and dank to any of Jesus' followers. 
     Even when they heard the news from Mary that Jesus was alive, they couldn't believe it. Even when Jesus "appeared" in the upper room, they were astonished that He was alive. Thomas wasn't there apparently the first time and got a bad rep as a doubter when he responded as any of us would have. 
     'A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have 
not seen and yet have believed.”' John 20:26-29. 
     Good Friday would mean nothing without Easter. All other religious leaders have died or will die but only one changed history, changed time, and changes lives forever by being raised from the dead. 

April 3rd Prayer

i thank you, Jesus, for becoming a human being

So i don't have to pretend or try to be God

i thank you, Jesus, for becoming finite and limited

So i don't have to pretend that i am infinite and limitless

i thank you, Jesus, for becoming mortal

So i don't have to try to make myself immortal

i thank you, Jesus, for becoming inferior

So i don't have to pretend that I am superior to anyone

i thank you, Jesus, for being crucified outside the walls

For being expelled and excluded like sinners and outcasts

So you can meet me where i feel i am

Outside the walls of worthiness

i thank you, Jesus, for forgiving my sins

So i don't have to try to forgive myself

i thank you, Jesus, for rising from the dead

So i can have hope beyond the grave

i thank you, Jesus, for all that you are

So that i can be all you have created me to be

More Thoughts

It's a beautiful evening in Central Missouri tonight. Beautiful sunset. Sat outside for a few minutes, not too long though cause it's still winter in Missouri. I love the vast blue skies we have here, especially on days like today when there's not a cloud in the sky. It looks like it goes on for miles and miles. I can't begin to describe the colors in the sunset. There are reds and blues and oranges but then they blend all together and I don't know what to call those colors. Then all this beauty pales in comparison to the sights Kayla and Alicia have every day. Wonder how all that works. Since there is no night because Christ is the constant light, they don't count days. They aren't restricted by time. It's just one continuous, glorious, beautiful, timeless moment. What is that like? I know I don't know. I can be so captured in the beauty of this creation, what is heaven like? I know what it's like to be caught up in worship on those special days when all is right with the world. I can't comprehend neverending, breath-taking worship. Right now it's easy to focus on the what ifs or these present day issues or problems but this life is a vapor, a mist, a blink of an eye. I want things to be good, right and they are...in the scope of eternity, they are. I'm not there yet, not by a long shot, but I want to see life in view of eternity...that's what's real.

Feb. 21

Well, here we are again at Feb. 21st. Seems like this day comes around faster and faster. We are still very HOMESICK for our real home. Our faith, family and friends are what help us through these times and 'these times' aren't ending (or so it seems) so we will continually lean on God. Some days He's a crutch, other days a stretcher, and most days He's carrying us.

Scream

Anyone ever just wanna scream...I'm not talking about screaming at someone or something. I just mean scream. Well, I've had one of those days. I haven't screamed. Don't wanna know what my blood pressure might be right now though. God is taking care of things as usual so there's no need to scream now but it's still pent up inside. Probably will simply crank the radio loud. 

The Curve

Went to see Tim Hawkins, Christian comedian,  Saturday in St. Louis. Picked Stephen up in Paris and went through Mexico (Missouri) to get to STL on Hwy. 15 south. On my way to Paris, I realized I'd have to go around "the curve", Mitchell Curve about 4-5 miles south of Paris. That curve that Alicia lost control of the car and Kayla and she wrecked. That curve was very common, still is. It's an S-curve. Traveled around it at least 4 times a day for over 11 years. After the accident though I began despising that curve. The curve has no personality, no feelings, no memories. Although it wasn't the safest for me, I could go around it with my eyes shut. But over time I had sort of forgotten about it until Saturday. Moving away made a huge difference. I know a lot of people who still take that curve multiple times a day, 5-7 days a week, every month, every year. I wonder if it's become common again for them or if they are like me and memories flood in each time. I pray that it has become common, routine. We all have "curves" in our lives, some physical curves, mental curves, you could call them mile makers. Those times when everything changed for better or for worse. We need them, though we may not always want them. They shaped who we are and who we are becoming. As long as we're here, we are always becoming something more. Hopefully becoming someone more like Christ. I remember that curve all too well, that common curve changed everything. I do hope that one day I will be able to go around that curve without thinking again. Maybe someday.

Thinking As I Write (Type)

Just read a post from a dear friend of mine that has sparked my brain cells. The blog deals with salvation and eternal security.  My take on this has been the same for years. I hold fast to eternal security but it is conditional as well. My condition (not that I'm judge, God is) is a genuine life-changing relationship with God through Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. Just walking an aisle and shaking the pastor's hand then getting dunked doesn't automatically mean salvation. I did appreciate the comparison of salvation to marriage. Our Americanized version of marriage may be as weak as our Americanized version of Christianity though. Hollywood has vividly drawn us pictures of both. How many teenybopper stars have professed to be Christians then as they enter young adulthood seem to abandon everything they learned in Sunday School? Again not judging just looking at outward appearances and actions. Only God knows the heart. But as a youth pastor it is very discouraging as these teen 'idols' flaunt both their beliefs and their new found freedoms and self expressions.  I want to say to them, if you're going to abandon your faith at 18, 19 or 20, please don't preach it before then.  We also see throw away marriages in Hollywood. Marriages that last only a few years, or months or weeks or even days. Neither are true examples of salvation or marriage, yet because they are so public many think they are. Salvation is a journey not a destination. Yes there is a starting point when we realize we are sinners and need a Savior but it does not end there. Just as marriage is more than a ceremony and a honeymoon. Honestly that was a bit of a shocker to me. I have to admit it took many years for me to realize that a marriage relationship takes work. I'm still learning that. Our relationship with Christ also that's some work. I don't believe our works save us, it's all faith. But without our desire to work the relationship with Christ, do we really have a relationship? If we aren't careful we can simply be roommates with Christ and never really know Him. Many people know about Him, but they don't know Him. I believe many live their relationship with Christ vicariously through a spouse, a parent, a child or a grandparent. But God only has children. No grandchildren or even step-children. I write all this to say I believe in eternal security of the believer but that security is found in Christ not ourselves. Once we are in God's hands, on His conditions, nothing or no one can pluck us from them. 

Follow

We have no way of knowing what the conversation was like when Jesus called His twelve disciples into ministry, but we do know that He ultimately drew them by saying the words “Follow Me.” Have you ever thought about how extreme it was for these men to leave everything behind at that point, and go on mission with Jesus for the next three years of their lives?
 
Follow me. What does that really mean? Here are some thoughts . . .
 
1)    Following involves trusting. And with that trust comes the security in knowing that Jesus is going ahead of us, paving the way! John 10:27 says, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”There is something very freeing about that concept, as we apply it to our lives. Jesus, our Good Shepherd, is clearing a path and leading us to our next step. And in reality, He is behind us as well. Psalm 139:5 says, “You hem me in, behind and before.” He watches over our comings and goings (Psalm 121). He never leaves or forsakes us (Joshua 1:5). He is ever-present (Psalm 46:1), working all things for our good (Romans 8:28). So when we choose to follow, we choose to trust (Prov. 3:5-6).
 
2)    Following involves watching and mimicking.Remember the game “Follow the Leader”? This was an activity where the “leader” would walk a path and others would follow, copying his actions. Any players who failed to do what the leader did would be out of the game. When we follow Jesus, we emulate Him. And while it’s a given that we’ll not reach perfection in this world, God has called us to be more like Christ. “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2). So following Christ means mirroring Him.
  
3)    Following involves surrender. John 21 tells the story of Peter’s reinstatement into ministry after his denial of Christ. Jesus asked Peter the question “Do you love me?” three times, and then He prophesied that one day this disciple would be led to a place he doesn’t want to go, predicting Peter’s ultimate death. Jesus then said the two words He uttered when Peter was first called to be a disciple: Follow Me. In reading this passage, I was reminded of earlier words Jesus had taught, “If anyone would come after me, He must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24) Following Jesus involves life or death commitment and surrender to His will.
 
4)    Following brings rewards. Let these scriptures speak for themselves:
“Jesus said, ‘I am the light of the world.Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)
“Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
“Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves Me.” (John 12:26)
“They will make war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will overcome them because He is Lord of Lords and King of Kings – and with Him will be His called, chosen, and faithful followers.” (Revelation 17:14)
 
When God called each of us to be His children, He said those words to us as well: Follow Me. And when you chose to follow, it was the commitment of a lifetime; a commitment to trust, to emulate and to surrender. It was a commitment that will bring unimaginable reward. Be assured today that wherever God leads you, He is already preparing the way.
 
Where you go, I’ll go
Where you stay, I’ll stay
When you move, I’ll move
I will follow you
Whom you love, I’ll love
How you serve, I’ll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
 
(Words and Music by Chris Tomlin, Jason Ingram, Reuben Morgan. All rights reserved)

Copied from Creative Arts Newsletter, FBC, Columbia, TN

New Year Rambling

Another new year has begun. We're 11 days into it. Why doesn't it feel "new"?  The days don't change, the sun doesn't rise differently, the sky looks the same, the air smells the same. Where's the newness, other than writing 12 instead of 11 on checks? Are we supposed to see things differently in 2012 than we did in 2011? I read posts and updates and statuses, many repeating sentiments they expressed this time last year and maybe even the year before. The breakthrough that I'm seeking isn't external but internal. I want things to be new IN me not just AROUND me. I want them to be more than just feelings, more than a passing whim. I'm reminded of "He who began a good work in you will see it to completion." It is HE who began the good work, there is no good in me outside of Christ. And since He started it, it is He and not me who will complete it. Just wish I had a tiny glimpse of the final product. I want to know with confidence that the work is good. It has to be more than just "feeling good". Because I'm not feeling it. Faith supersedes feelings. I am thankful for that. I have to let go of something, I'm just not sure what that something is. I've had things seemingly TAKEN from me but have I actually let go of anything? We're supposed to let go of the past. Let go of control. Let go of anger. Let go of fear. Let go of self. Let go of comfort. Let go of everything AND...do what? Once we've let go, what is there to hold on to? "When you get to the end of the rope, tie a knot and hold on for dear life". That is too cliche-ish. If you let go, you fall. I've done my share of falling lately. It's no fun. It comes back to faith. There are times when faith seems thinner than air. Is that smaller than a mustard seed though? I know faith doesn't have to be big to be faith. Trying to let go and know that God is holding on. He has promised to never leave or forsake. He has me, even if I don't 'feel' like I have Him. Maybe God IS up to something new in me. I don't want to miss it. Like Elijah, it won't be in the cataclysmic but in God's whisper. I want Him to be so close that I can hear Him breathing just like I can hear Bonnie or Jeromy in the stillness of the night. I don't have to see them or feel them to know they're there. I want to be among the 'blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe'.