Christmas Is So Close...

Christmas is so close...you can smell it. That's what the deejay said as I was drifting off to sleep. Apparently that sparked my brain because every time I woke up I had a thought in my head. So now let's see if I can get 'em on here. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas is how the song goes. What about the smell of Christmas? One of the first smells that entered our house on the day after Thanksgiving was the smell of the  Christmas tree. For all except one or two Christmases we've had a live Christmas tree. They smell so good. We love Douglas Firs. As the scent of turkey fades from the kitchen we begin to smell the sweets!! Yum. At home, we had White Chocolate Chip Cookies and Alicia's famous Chocolate Peanut Butter Chip Cookies. Now at Mom and Dad's house, we have Batman Cake, Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies, Reese's Bars, Cupcakes, Corn Flake Wreaths that stain your mouth green. At home it's snowing. That has it's own wintry scent. But what about the first Christmas? What did it smell like? If the manger was a cave, then it had a dank smell. After traveling all day by donkey, I'm sure Mary and Joseph had an unpleasant bodily smell. Course this was before deodorant so everyone stunk. LOL. Jesus was placed in a feeding trough. We assume it had hay in it. Hay has it's own smell. A freshly cut hayfield smells great. But what if the feeding trough was for the pigs. Well that probably wouldn't be since this was a Jewish town. But the thought of the feeding trough having slop in it produces a completely different idea. So you can keep your hay-filled manger. Then you have the animals. We assume there was a donkey, the one Mary and Joseph had, but we don't know if there were any other animals. Coulda been a cow or horse there, maybe a sheep. Because if the close quarters you would have to watch your step. Again, a smell all its own. That first Christmas was not as neat and clean as our pageants portray. The sweetest smell of Christmas, of any season, is the smell of love. That smell is hard to describe but impossible to miss.  The aroma of love for one another coupled with the love for our Savior is the most inviting, welcoming smell of all. So as Christmas draws closer I hope your home is filled with beautiful fragrance of the love of Christmas! A scent that is indescribable but unmistakably sweet! 

Soundtrack

Was reminded of something I said a couple of years ago. Don't you wish your life had a movie soundtrack to it. Imagine the "Jaws" theme just before something bad happens. That would be great or at least it would give us a heads up as to what's coming. Our life has had it's own soundtrack but the tracks are either concurrent with live or just a few moments after the fact. A constant theme for as long as I can remember is GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS. "...All I have needed Thy hand has provided..." His timing is always perfect. Not necessarily our timing but His. Like the old song says, "He's never late, never early, He's an on time God" When the time was right, after a 400 year silence, God spoke His love to the world, to you and me, through a baby. A baby that "grew in favor with God and man." A boy that astounded the religious leaders when He was only 12. A man who not only fulfilled the Law but expanded it. "Love your enemies...Turn the other cheek...Go the extra mile..." A man who laid down His life for His friends. That friendship spans the centuries to today. Because of that great love, we can truly know what love is. Without His love, our love is just a shadow. "...Morning by morning new mercies I see...Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!" Thank you!

December 15

December 15, 10 days til Christmas. No wait, we're having our family Christmas on Friday! 2 MORE DAYS! There's snow on the ground and a chill (maybe a little more than a chill) in the air. I heard this Christmas song on the radio by 33 Miles, "I Could Not Come to Him". Since we can't get to God, He came to us. Immanuel, God with us! What amazing love! It's the most wonderful time of the year! I hope you are having a great Christmas season! 

Christmas Thought

These aren't original thoughts, thanks Louie Giglio. Just personalized...

What would it be like for you if your best friend or your spouse or your child didn't speak to you for 4 days? What about 4 weeks or months or even years? We don't like to think about that. In this social culture of texting, e-mails, Facebook, etc., we can't imagine being out of contact with anyone for a long period of time. Now imagine that you are an Israelite. In our Bibles after the end of Malachi there may be a blank page or a page that says "New Testament" then you move on to Matthew 1. For the Israelites, after the last prophet spoke there were 400 (FOUR HUNDRED) years of silence. No one heard from God. There was no letter, no phone call, no text, nothing, nada, zilch. Many thought, maybe God died. I thought we were the chosen ones, they may have said. Did God change His mind? Is He angry or frustrated or apathetic? What about all those promises to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob? Do they still apply? What about the favored son, David?  I know we've had this pattern of following God and then doing our own thing. We survived the captivities but even in all those God still spoke. Although we had forgotten Him, somehow He never, ever forgot us. Can you imagine a son going to his father and asking, "Hey dad, have you ever heard from God?" "No, son, I haven't." "What about granddad? Did he hear from God?" "No, son, my father never heard from Him either. Son, there is no one in our family who can remember hearing from God. I think that maybe He's just given up." "But dad, what about the prophecies? What about Messiah?" "I don't know, son. I just don't know." "Dad?" "Yea, son." "If I heard from God, how would I recognize His voice?' "Again, son, I don't know." We are talking about generation after generation after generation. Year after year, decade after decade, score after score, century after century. Not one word. Not a whisper. Not even a sigh. Even a sigh could have been deafening. Then when God did decide to speak it was at the busiest time of the year. NO, not Christmas. It was TAX time. There was no "JOY TO THE WORLD" here. Not only was it tax time but you couldn't even just mail them in or better yet send them electronically. You had to go back to your family's hometown. There were so many people coming and going. It was the epitome of a really bad family reunion. In all the chaos, God choose to break His silence. Was God dead? No, He came as a newborn. The silence was broken with a baby's cry. The cry that His mom and earthly dad were the first to hear. With the cacophony of the census and the tax paying, who would notice another baby's cry? God is not dead, see Him, hear Him in an infant's cry. God was not angry either. John tells us that "the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." He was full of grace, God's unmerited favor, and truth. And the truth is heard in the angel's message to the shepherds. “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.

Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord." They needed good news that would bring great joy. We need good news that brings great joy. Personalize it. ...a Savior has been born to YOU, (INSERT YOUR NAME). To you and for you. God spoke saying not only have I not forgotten you, I am going to save you so that "where I am there you may be also." Even His name, Jesus, means "Savior". So regardless of what this Christmas season brings you. Your first Christmas as a couple, your first Christmas without being a couple. Your first Christmas without a job. Your first Christmas having to go to your mom's house and then your dad's because of divorce. That stinks. Your first Christmas with a newborn. Your first Christmas without your child. Your first Christmas serving your country in another country. Wherever you may be, Jesus became flesh and,as The Message says, "moved into the neighborhood." Your neighborhood. My neighborhood. And His gifts are great joy, grace, truth, salvation, peace and so much more. All we have to do is accept His gifts. So go ahead and rip open that present. Don't worry about the bow or the paper. It's the best gift of all. The coolest thing is you don't have to wait 'til December 25th to receive His gift. It's available anytime. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Mind Boggling

I'm reading Max Lucado's book "It's Not About Me". These paragraphs have floored me...
     Your world extends beyond...time. A foreverness woos you. Your heavenly life Everests the pebbles of your earthly life. If grains of sand measured the two, how would they stack up? Heaven would be every grain of sand on every beach on earth, plus more. Earthly life, by contrast, would be one hundredth of one grain of sand. 
     "Our light affliction, which is but for a MOMENT, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory." 2 Corinthians 4:17
     What if we took the same attitude toward life? What if we saw our tough times as a grain of sand scarcely worthy of contrast with the forever dunes?
     We can be sick for JUST A MOMENT.
     We can be lonely for JUST A MOMENT.
     We can be persecuted for JUST A MOMENT.
     We can struggle for JUST A MOMENT.
     Can't we?
     Can't we wait for our peace? It's not about us anyway. And it's certainly not about NOW.
I know these things in my mind. Getting them to my heart and actually shaping who I am seems to be another thing altogether. Maybe I'll get it in a...moment.

Imagine a World Without Christmas

Christmas has been my favorite time of year for as long as I can remember. I love the sights and sounds of Christmas. Being a Music Minister, I can get Christmas music as early as June and I like hearing all the different musicals that come out every year. I enjoy seeing all the lights and the decorations that come with the holiday. But it was brought to my attention that I have lost some of that wonder, that joy of the Season. You know life happens and it leaves its mark on you. It wasn't my plan or desire especially at Christmas to lose feeling for it. Sometimes you may just want to skip the hassle and the busyness of this season we call Christmas. Imagine a world without Christmas. Imagine a world with no Christmas parties, no carols, no gifts under the tree, no egg nog, no cute nativity plays and no warm family gatherings by the fireside. Name the most important thing to you about Christmas, or the Christmas season, and then take it away. What would life be like without Christmas? A long and uninterrupted period of cold and darkness, with no spark of warmth or pleasure. So now I am making a conscious effort to find the wonder of a child for Christmas. To look around every corner for the joy that the Savior brings. 'Tis the season can lose its shine if we let it. So, early on this Christmas season I am choosing to look for the wonder, the mystery, the majesty, the splendor that is CHRISTMAS. Celebrating Immanuel, God with us because He is!

Miracle

6. I am thankful for answered prayer. God showed up and showed off today.  A friend and fellow church member of ours faced her past 9 weeks ago. The result was having to serve time in jail. Her sentence was for a maximum of 6 months. She has a 7 year old daughter who was her biggest concern. We volunteered to take her daughter into our home. Well, two and a half weeks ago, she went before the judge for early release. He is a firm but fair judge. He really didn't give her or us much hope. Many church members sent letters of support to the courts. Today, although the judgement had in bold on the page, Parole cannot be granted, the judge signed her parole. She was released today around 2 pm. There was a grand and tearful reunion between mother and daughter today around 4. God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Thank you God for the perfect Thanksgiving gift. We stand in awe of who You are! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Tuesday

Before I continue I do want to say that this list is in no particular order.


5. I am thankful for my salvation. Salvation is a choice I made when I was 6. Did I fully understand what it meant to ask Jesus to be my Savior and Lord at that age? NO. I still don't fully understand it today. I learned some things about my salvation just last week. God did all the work when He became flesh and lived among us. (We're getting ready to celebration His incarnation - it's the most wonderful time of the year!) Thank you Father for your indescribable love, mercy and grace you've shown to me on the cross 2000+ years ago and the love, mercy and grace you continue to show every day, every hour, every second, every moment of my life. 

Monday the 22nd

4. Okay this one is a bit over the edge but follow me on it. I am thankful for brokenness. I have experienced physical, emotional and spiritual brokenness. We don't, or at least no one I know, pray to be broken. It is in brokenness that we grow closer to God. It isn't the only way we grow closer but it is a way. Unfortunately, it's only after I'm heading out or hopefully heading out of the brokenness that I'm realizing that God is using this time to draw me closer to Him. I wish there were another way. But in God's wisdom He has chosen brokenness to get my attention. Wonder if I wasn't so hard headed if ALL this brokenness was absolutely necessary. The answer seems to be...YES. Regardless, I am thankful for this brokenness that God is using to remind me of all the better things He wants for me.

Thanks

As we begin this week of Thanksgiving, I want to post a few things I am thankful for. My plan is to add to this list throughout the week.


1. I am thankful for my health. That may sound a little weird since my health hasn't been stellar as of late. But on April 12th I received clearance from my doctors concerning my arm I broke at the end of 2008. For almost a year and a half, it was a brokenness unlike anything I was used to, at least not physically. My thumb still tingles but I have full use of my fingers and my arm.


2. I am thankful for my family. Bonnie and I have been married for over 23 years. It's a journey. I know Bonnie loves me unconditionally and I love her the same. Jeromy is my cowboy. He has grown so much this year. I am so proud of him. I have parents who love me and pray for me and my family daily. I am so thankful for them all!


3. I am thankful for my church family. We have so many friends and family in the churches God has blessed us to serve. There is no way to name them all. But you mean so much to my family and me. We are so blessed to walk through life together. Thanks for allowing us to be a part of your families.


More to come.

Processing

I am a SAINT not just a SAVED SINNER. Thinking through this one. 

Superhero

We watched MEGAMIND in the theater today. OK movie. Not sure why they made it 3D. Watching the INCREDIBLES now. Saw an OK superhero movie, thought we needed to see a great one. Ever wish you had some kind of super human traits. Super strength, the ability to fly, disappear, laser vision. I have a scar on my shin from trying to fly like Superman off of a metal lawnchair when I was under the age of 6.  I remember towels pinned around my neck with clothespins. Wanting to be super. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I remember those days, but then I thought about something Jesus said. He'll mess with your mind if you listen to Him. Remember these words? “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father." John 14:12. Greater works than Jesus? Is it posisble? Unlike the superhero movie though, it's not for our glory. Nothing we do is for our glory. All that we do, all that we are, everything is FOR HIS GLORY! Pretty sure that trumps superhero powers. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. "Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Phil 2:3-11. Thank You, God, that You have given us all that we need to serve You. Help us to use what you've given us for Your glory. AMEN!

Rest

It's still dark outside and I've been awake for over an hour and a half. Been trying to go back to sleep but for some reason sleep won't come. Been tossing and turning, just laying still with eyes shut, praying. At least I feel I accomplish something with the praying. There's a difference between sleep and rest. Not getting much of either lately for some reason. Reminded of the Psalm, "Be at rest my soul, for the Lord has been good to me." I don't think I have that much on my mind, then again, maybe I do. God is active in some many ways. There are areas I need Him to be active in and He is. It's kinda weird how that works. Then again it's not 'cause He's God. I am thankful for that. Thankful that not only in this chaotic world God is in control but even in my chaotic life, my little, mundane life, God is in control.

Quiet Month

     Well, it's been a relatively quiet month in my blog world. The reason is pretty simple, I've been sick the last 2 weeks. Appendix removed Oct. 17. It was a distraction from Alicia's birthday. Bonnie said maybe I should have surgery each year on the girls' birthdays. Ummm...NO. Back in the ER on Oct. 23, no BM in 7 days is PAINFUL. More so than the appendix. NO FUN AT ALL. Enemas are enemies.
     I missed the Missouri Baptist Convention earlier this week. I watched much of it online. I was so proud of Sarah Miller as she made an amendment to the motion from the Executive Board to change the name of HLG to University of Hannibal. Her amendment changed the name from HLG College to HLG University. It passed by a 60+% margin. Yay Sarah! On Wednesday morning I missed one of my best friends and former pastor/co-laborer, Wesley Hammond, being nominated and winning the race for 1st VP of the MBC. I am very glad for Wesley. He is a true leader, a man of God with wisdom beyond his years.
     Bonnie was at the MBC because of her role as State MSC Coordinator. She spent many hours on her feet at her booth in the exhibit hall. Because of this, I spent 3 1/2 days by myself recuperating and resting.  I watched High School Musical and rested and watched the Santa Clause Trilogy and rested and watched Scooby-Doo and rested and watched Over the Hedge and rested and watched the Fantastic 4: Rise of the SIlver Surfer and rested and watched Mark Schultz in Concert and rested. I also spent time during my waking hours playing Family Feud on Facebook and playing Madden 2008 on my laptop. There were also extended periods of time in the bathroom. Those were eventful but not noteworthy. I also listened to music. I catalogued my music in EXCEL files on my computer. The music on my laptop that is, there are other CDs in cabinets that aren't on my computer. Not many, but a few. God and I talked. Truth be known I talked more than listened. I have questions, doubts, praises, thanksgiving, misgivings, concerns, confirmations, confusions, & wonderings. I had a few revelations about myself. Some were good, others not so much.  As I looked back over my postings here I've realized that not only am I chasing God's heart, He, too, is chasing mine. His heart isn't difficult to catch, although, I'm afraid, there are times when mine seems to be. One of these days I hope to be able to express all this in clear and understandable ways. That will happen when I have clear understanding myself.
     Unless something eventful happens this weekend, I will return sometime in November.

Why

Here are a couple of Why songs that have been playing through my head today. The first 4Him and the second Michael Card.

Why - I wonder
why do the rainy days have to come
When the storm clouds hide the sun
I wanna know why
Why - I wonder wny
When the reasons aren’t clear to me
When it all is a mystery
I want to know why
And though down here
I may not understand
I won’t let go
Of the Unseen hand
For It holds the reasons why


Why did it have to be a friend
who chose to betray the Lord
Why did he use a kiss to show them
That's not what a kiss is for
Only a friend can betray a friend
A stranger has nothing to gain
And only a friend comes close enough
To ever cause so much pain
And why did there have to be thorny
Crown pressed upon His head
It should have been the royal one
Made of jewels and gold instead
It had to be a crown of thorns
Because in this life that we live
For all who seek to love
A thorn is all the world has to give
And why did it have to be
A heavy cross He was made to bare
And why did they nail His feet and hands
His love would have held Him there
It was a cross for on a cross
A thief was supposed to pay
And Jesus had come into the world
To steal every heart away
Yes, Jesus had come into the world
To steal every heart away


He has stolen my heart so the whys aren't so pressing.

Seeing Is Believing

I've lived in Missouri longer than anywhere else in my life. Not quite a third of my life has been spent here. The slogan for Missouri is the Show Me State. The background behind this is varied historically but the basic thought is...you can say all you want but I'm from Missouri so you're going to have to show me.
It's interesting how that applies to so much of our lives. That's not necessarily a good thing. We even use it in our approach to God sometimes. Remember Thomas after Jesus' resurrection. (MJC version) "Unless I can see Jesus with my own eyes, I can't believe what you're telling me. You gotta show me" I can relate to that. But is seeing enough? It was for Thomas. Jesus appeared, stretched out his hands and Thomas responded "My Lord and My God". I haven't seen the scars. I haven't heard the Master's voice. Jesus made a promise to me, to each of us, that day."Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:29.
So maybe we have seen; not with our eyes but with our hearts. "God demonstrated (showed) His love for us in this way, while we were still sinners Christ died for us." We SEE the sunsets and sunrises, the changing of the seasons, the night sky with its diamonds laid against the blackness of the sky. We SEE our love for each other, our spouses, our children, our family, our friends. We SEE lives changed by the power of God.  But to SEE we have to LOOK.
God promised "you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Seeking with our heart not our eyes. That's what faith is. But not just sorta kinda seeking but seeking with all, ALL our heart. At home, I don't seek for things well. I glance but rarely do I seek. If it ain't in plain sight, I say, "Where is such and such in the refrigerator? I don't see it." Well if I had sought for it. Moved things around. Made an effort to find it. It would be there, usually behind the milk. 
God wants us to seek Him. All we have to do is open up our eyes and our hearts. So what are you looking for today? What have you seen? What is it that you are saying to God, I hear You but you gotta show me? Look with your heart.

Grasping Bubbles

     I said something in a conversation today that I believe expressed my feelings lately. I may write more on this later but I wanted to get it down before I forgot what it was. 
     I feel like I'm grasping at bubbles. Just about the time I think I have hold of it, it pops. I want to be grasping at things more concrete.

Growing

     I've been reminded of an old Wayne Watson song:

I'm growing. 

I don't like it.

I'm growing, and it hurts.

I love You, but I'm tired.

Guess I've got a lot to learn.

Yeah, I guess I've got a lot to learn.

     Do you ever wanna be the potter and not the clay? I think we all live under the illusion that we're in control. We're just a lump of clay. Somehow, because of free will, not fwee wiwwy, (momentary lapse, thanks Lyle) we can either ignore God's shaping or have some sorta input on it. I don't know how God works that. Most of the time we mess up the handiwork. We've all heard that God don't make junk. We can't blame Him for that, most of the time we bear the burden of "junking" ourselves up. 
     I wanna be what God wants and not what I want but I've been working on what I want for so long I don't know how to let go. But if I realize I'm not holding on to whatever it is, God is, then I don't havta let go. Oh my, what a paradox. (I hope I'm using that word correctly.) God help me to just be clay moldable in your hands. You may havta pour water over me to loosen up the hard parts. You may havta collapse me and start all over again. Lord, I don't know what You havta do, just make me into what You have in mind. This is my prayer today.

Skip to the End

     I am not a reader. My children are readers. I've read Peretti books but when there was a lot of narrative I skipped over it to the action. I haven't read any of the Narnia books but we have them dramatically presented on CD from Focus on the Family. Most of them are pretty good. Recently Jeromy went through a phase where he was listening to The Last Battle CD over and over again during a weekend. The last few paragraphs of the book are so desciptive:
     Lucy said, "We were afraid of being sent away, Aslan. And you have sent us back into our own world so often."
     "No fear of that," said Aslan. "Have you not guessed?"
     Their hearts leaped and a wild hope rose within them.
     "There WAS a real railway accident," said Aslan softly. "Your father and mother and all of you are-as you used to call it in the Shadowlands-dead. The term is over; the holidays have begun. the dream is ended; this is the morning." 
     And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page; now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read; which goes on forever; in which every chapter is better than the one before.
     When I first heard those words my heart leaped 'cause they expressed what my mind already knew. A great reminder that this life is not all there is to "life". It's just the beginning. Of course Jesus had already spoken those great words of peace that I memorized in VBS all those years ago.
     “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.” Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”  Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." John 14:1-6
     I am one whose heart is easily troubled. I am one who needs reminders, road markers, signs pointing me in the right direction. I am easily distracted. I just wish I remembered these words before I slumped down in the valley. The valleys do come. They vary in depth but the way out of them all are the same. Remember who you are and whose you are. Another reminder from a dear friend of mine, "Don't forget your fork 'cause the best is yet to come."

Life Is Like a Country Song

These are real titles (really bad, that is) of country songs

Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You

Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares) 

High Cost of Low Living

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 

How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me? 

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You  

I Still Miss You Baby...  But My Aim is Getting Better

If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me 

If Today Was a Fish, I'd Throw It Back In 

I'm In Love With A Capital U

I'm Just an Old Chunk of Coal (But I'm Gonna be a Diamond Someday) 

Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

Pick Me Up On Your Way Down

Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox When I Die

Queen Of My Double-Wide Trailer 

She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft 

Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone

The Bridge Washed Out and I Can't Swim and My Baby's On the Other Side

The Last Word in Lonesome is Me

Timber... I'm Fallin In Love

Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In

You Can Lock Me Up in Jail & Throw Away the Key, But You Can't Keep My Face from Breaking Out

You Can't Haul a U-Haul Into Heaven

You Done Stomped On My Heart (and You Mashed That Sucker Flat)

You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

You're either laughing or groaning. In country music it's all good or all bad or just badly titled. Mark Lowry said that life is like a roller coaster with ups and downs and twists and curves. Jesus said, I have come that they may have life and have it more abundantly. Mark says that means the ups and downs are just bigger. Mark also says his favorite Bible verse is "And it came to pass" ...it didn't come to stay. I've revised it to say This too shall pass...like a kidney stone. I don't have first hand experience of this but after spending time with Mark D. at the hospital last weekend, it's BAD! Paul says, Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS and again I say rejoice. He also said that whatever state I am in; feast or famine, good or bad, (my interpretation) I will be content. 

Sometimes it's hard to be content when the world throws life at you. Life is about choosing. Joshua said it, choose you this day whom you will serve, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. (Deut. 30:19) How much better to get wisdom than gold, to choose understanding rather than silver! (Prov. 16:16) 

All this rambling to say...today, how will you choose to live your life? This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Uneventful Event

Saturday came and went without incident other than the fact that it marked 2 1/2 years since the girls went home. It seems that's how things are now. Days come and go as they always have. You wake up, look at the calendar and say 'oh yea, today is such 'n such day. Well what are we doing today? Business as usual, ok.' We had a conversation last night. This Saturday will be Kayla's 21st birthday. What are we going to do to celebrate, commemorate, whatever it is we're doing? I don't know. 21? Is she 21 in heaven? Will they have a party? How cool would it be to have a birthday party with Jesus? Grammy, Granny, Maw-Maw (whom she hadn't met until that day in February), Uncle Buck, Uncle Johnny, Aunt Modie, Aunt Doris, Aunt Virginia, Betty Barnes (her favorite 6th grade SS teacher), and the list goes on and on of people who are partying with Kayla. Wow! Not to mention all the Biblical people. And God the Father, her Father, bringing in the cake. What would He say? 'Kayla, I remember thinking of you before I spoke the world into motion. You were, are and forever will be the apple of My eye. I remember the look on your Dad's face when he first saw you. He was freaked out. Doctor asked if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord. He politely declined. Oh, but once they cleaned you up and placed you in your mother's arms, the joy that was on her face. The love and joy that your parents have for you is just a raindrop in the ocean compared to the love and joy that I have for you. Happy Birthday Kayla! I love you, my precious daughter.' God, will it ever get easier? Is it supposed to? I am amazed at the impact Kayla and Alicia made and are still making on our world. I miss your smile, your laughter, all your crazy dreams. I can still see you standing on the stairs looking at me as you were heading to the library. "I love you, Kayla." "I know, I love you, too." You actually said it. I knew you did but it was this unspoken thing between us for some reason. Thank you so much for saying those words that day. Hey Kayla, I love you! Happy Early 21st Birthday! 

Chasing Me

THE CHASING SONG - ANDREW PETERSON
Now and then these feet just take to wandering
Now and then I prop them up at home
Sometimes I think about the consequences
Sometimes I don't

Well, I realize that falling down ain't graceful
But I thank the Lord that falling's full of grace
Sometimes I take my eyes off Jesus
And you know that's all it takes

Well I wish that I could say that at the close of every day
I was happy with the way that I'm behaving

'Cause Job, he chased and answer
The wise men chased the Child
Jacob chased her 14 years and he 
Captured Rachel's smile
Moses chased the Promised Land
Joseph chased a dream
David, he chased God's own heart
All I ever seem to chase is me

Well, they say a race can only have one winner
And you know you've got to pull out front to win
God knows the only time I'm winning
Is when I'm chasing Him

Well I wish that I could say that at the close of every day
I was happy with the way that I'm behaving

'Cause Samson chased a woman
and he chased the Philistines
I'm not quite sure what Jonah chased
But I know he caught the sea
Cain, he chased the harvest
While Abel chased the beasts
David, he chased God's own heart
All I ever seem to chase is me

And Jesus chased the moneymen
And he chased his Father's will
He chased my sin to Calvary
And he caught it on that hill
Saul, he chased the Christians
Till his blindness made him see
David, he chased God's own heart
All I ever seem to chase is me 

Love Out Loud

As summer comes to an end, I look back to say "WOW!". It's been an amazing summer. Super Summer, Trip to Nebraska, Association Camp, and VBS. And those are the things I was involved in. Bonnie went to Russia. The team went to Branson. Dani went to Canada. Sarah went to Canada and Ireland. Wes, Kim and Samantha went to NYC. Jeromy spent 3 weeks in Florida with Nana and Papa. Again, it was an amazing summer. On top of all the activities, we had young ladies leading people to Christ. That is double amazing. God worked through you this summer. Thank you all for your willingness to serve. As we close the book on the summer, we havta remember that the summer may end but our serving doesn't end. Let's show God's love out loud. Can't wait to see what God's gonna do next and who He will use. :)


JESUS HOPE OF THE NATIONS
BRIAN DOERKSEN
Jesus hope of the nations
Jesus comfort for all who mourn
You are the source of Heaven's hope on earth

Jesus light in the darkness
Jesus truth in each circumstance
You are the source of Heaven's light on earth

In history You lived and died
You broke the chains You rose to life

You are the hope living in us
You are the rock in Whom we trust
You are the light Shining for all the world to see

You rose from the dead conquering fear
Our Prince of Peace drawing us near
Jesus our hope living for all who will receive
Lord we believe 

It's Hot in Missouri

Hey. Just in case you haven't heard...it's hot in Missouri. Fortunately it's Summer, so it's supposed to be hot. But does it have to be this hot. Crossroads Baptist Association Children's Camp began today. Youth Camp begins on Tuesday afternoon. At this present time we have 59 students registered for camp. Last year we had 62. It's going to be another good year. This year's theme is Stop, Look, and Listen. Pray that as the students are away from their normal surroundings that they will stop, look and listen to God. We have youth who come every year without fail. I want this year to be different. To make an impact. To make a change that will hopefully last far into the new school year. Here is our chance to..."Be still and know that I am God..."


Why is it so hard for us to stop our daily routines? We are too busy to be still. Too busy to look around us as see God's handy work. Too busy to listen to Him speak. He doesn't force Himself on us. He never has. He patiently waits for us to respond. For us to stop. I am thankful that He is so compassionate and caring, loving and God. He said it all when He introduced myself. I AM THAT I AM. Everything we could ever want or need, ask or imagine, He is. Do you need love...He is love...peace...He is peace...forgiveness...He is forgiveness. Anything...Everything is found in Him. He is I AM...I AM He is. 

Wow

Wow! Haven't written in a while. Life has been flying by at the speed of life. How else would it fly?  God is still on His throne. Therein is our hope. Will write more soon...I hope.

Here We Go Again

For those of you who follow this blog, thanks! And you have seen this theme before if you'll go back a couple of months. I keep coming back to this question of why. But this why isn't a why going back 2 and 1/2 years. This why is a gnawing why with all that we've been through recently, why do things still get me down? Little things and big things. Nothing as big as losing Kayla and Alicia but big in the scope of our daily lives. My trust isn't child-like although at times it seems childish. I am so easily distracted...squirrel. So easily drawn away. "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love." That's me. But the verse continues, "Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above." That court seems very distance although I already have family and friends there. Their purpose is simple...worship their Creator and His Son who paid the price for them to even approach the Throne. Simple time...simple thought. Makes me homesick for a home I've never seen before. "I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place. Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than now." 

Let's Go Fly a Kite

     Jeromy's home!!! He's outside flying a kite that Mom and Dad bought him. Bonnie's out there giving him instructions. "Jeromy, Jeromy...can you hear me?" Jeromy..."Yea." Bonnie..."Then why aren't you doing what I tell you?"
      We are just like that with our Heavenly Father. We hear God instructing us on the simple things of life, that we think we can handle. Yet before we know it, we have a tangled mess. "Can you hear Me?" "Yes, Lord" But we aren't listening. We truly are, regardless of our ages, children of God.
     God still speaks. He may not whisper in our ear, but he speaks to our heart which is much louder. Just as sometimes we have trouble hearing with our ears, we also have trouble hearing with our heart. Our lack of hearing with our heart isn't a hearing problem though, it's a heart problem. If our heart is not in tune with God we will have difficulty hearing. 
     We have to remember that God is not loud in His speech. Elijah heard God but He wasn't in the storm or the earthquake. When Elijah heard God, it was in a still, small voice. A voice of confidence. A voice of assurance. A voice of truth. A voice of love. A voice of faithfulness...The Voice of God. "Can you hear Me??"

shattered

This is my second post this week using my phone. If there are errors, please overlook them.

Last night during worship the guy preaching threw a rock at a mirror on stage shattering it to pieces. He was showing sins effect on our life and how we try hopelessly to put the pieces back together by our self. 4 me it was a perfect picture of my life. 2+ years ago my life was shattered. It still is today more than I'd like 2 admit. But I know that God is in the process of putting those pieces back n place.

Today I was reminded that God knew me and called me before I was even conceived. He has always had a plan 4 my life. A calling to touch lives through music and to love students where they are. It was a not so subtle reminder that hit me upside my head and encouraged me to keep on with an urgency like never before. I can only...only (semi-new concept) do this through His leadership His guidance and His prompting.

Thank you Father 4 your patient, enduring, everlasting love 4 me!

What If

Do u ever have "what If" moments? They more often than not reflect regrets or changes we'd like 2 see n our lives. What if...I made this decision differently? What if...I handled this relationship in this way instead of...whatever? What if I'd said "no" 2 a simple request? What if...I'd gone with my initial plans? Could anything we do ultimately effect the Sovereign plan of God? We can't change these "what ifs"

But what if what ifs...effects the present or future? What if...God is opening this door? What if...God is nudging in this direction? What if...I choose 2 ignore these what ifs?

Trust. Simply trust and then act. Why is it so hard?

In the Meantime

Haven't written in a while. Life is busy here, which is a good thing. In the meantime, please be praying for Bonnie as she is in Russia with a team leading VBS for missionary kids from all over Eastern Europe and Russia. She will be home next Friday. Jeromy is in FL with my parents having a wonderful time. I leave tomorrow taking 5 youth and 2 chaperones (including me) to Hannibal-LaGrange College for Super Summer 2010. A group of World Changers are descending on Moberly this week to do some home repairs to at least 9 homes in our area. We have several people from Carpenter Street helping in leadership areas with that. Pray for safety and for good weather so these projects can be completed. Thanks for your prayers for my family and me. God bless!

Family

It's been a great week. Dad and Mom have been here from Florida. We had fun fellowshipping with some of our church family Sunday and Monday. We went shopping and out to eat yesterday. We were given our birthday gifts or actually we bought them. We both got clothes then went to Bonnie's favorite restaurant (the Barrel). It was good, as usual. Ate way too much. When my parents are around I feel younger for some reason. Maybe because they seem so young to me. So since they're young I havta be young. I beat my mom playing scramble on the computer twice last night. She beat me the other night by 2 stinking points. I could never beat her until last year. I'm finally as smart as my mom. :) I love you Dad and Mom. Thanks for bringing me up in a Christian home and giving me a love for music. 

An Ecclesiastes Kind of Mood

     Ever get in an Ecclesiastes kind of mood? This is how it begins and ends.
    "Meaningless! Meaningless!...Everything is meaningless!"..."Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: fear God & keeps His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing whether it is good or evil."
     Sometimes we get stuck in the beginning and never get to the end. It can be that way with many passages. You've heard, "read the last chapter, we win!" If we don't complete the thought we end up in a place God never intended. What happens if we stop at Romans 7..."What a wretched man I am!"? We never get to the therefore..."therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
     It seems to be easy for me to have bad days. Hey, bad days are Biblical. But they don't havta end that way. The amazing thing about the Psalms is how David so many times begins with whining and complaining and ends in worship. Just like David, we should end our day, begin it too, in worship to God.
     How great is our God, sing with me how great is our God and all will see, how great, how great is our God.
     God doesn't want me stay stuck. If anyone does, it's...me?

Both/And

     Yesterday was the anniversary of my marriage to Bonnie. 23 years. In worship we have testimony time, several people had shared things God had been doing. I was waiting to share about our anniversary. There was a long pause and before I could say something, Bonnie stood up and shared that she was married to a wonderful husband for the past 23 years. Then I stood up and said, "Hey, I was gonna say that, well not husband but wife." Laughter broke out. I've been thinking about that moment. That was very typical of our relationship. Bonnie is, more times than not, the outspoken one and I am, mostly, more standoffish. 
     So,am I, are we, the same way about our love for our Savior and our Heavenly Father? We will readily tell people, even strangers, that we love a certain sports team or movie or t.v. show or cereal or whatever. But I am not as bold in sharing not only my love for my wife, whom I do love deeply, but also my love for Jesus. People are supposed to just know, right? Unfortunately, I believe we've abused Augustine's quote, "Preach the Gospel, if necessary use words."
     Can people tell we are Christian by the way we live? Hopefully. Are we really any different? We live in a world full of "good", even "great" people; but without a true, life changing relationship with the Father through faith in the Son our "goodness" or "greatness" isn't enough. 
     "For there is no difference between Jew & Gentile - the same Lord is Lord of all & richly blesses all who call on him, for "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have never heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching (telling, my interpretation) to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news."...Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. Romans 10:12-15 &17
     So, I tell Bonnie I love her. I show Bonnie I love her through my actions. Is it either/or or both/and? It has to be both/and. There are times when Bonnie wants to hear, needs to hear, me say that I love her. She needs to hear those 3 words. And there are equally, maybe even more times, that she wants me, needs me, to show her I love her through my actions. 
     We have to do both. We have to tell and show. Not only in our own families do we need to tell and show them that we love them; but also to a lost and dying world who desperately needs to hear and be shown that they are loved by us and by their Heavenly Father, who loved them so much that He arranged a plan specifically for them to have a relationship that is true and living with Him. That relationship isn't only for now but for eternity.

Short and Sweet

God is able! He delivered the 3 Hebrews dudes from the fiery furnish. So I know He is able to deliver me, and there's not even a hint of smoke.

Bow the Knee

I'm introducing the chorus BOW THE KNEE Sunday night. I've used the whole song with the choir at Paris but haven't sung it here. I printed the full lyrics this morning as a reminder of how the song goes.

Bow the Knee

There are moments on our journey following the Lord

Where God illumines ev'ry step we take

There are times when circumstances make perfect sense to us

As we try to understand each move He makes

When the path grows dim and our questions have no answers turn to Him

Bow the knee trust the heart of your Father

When the answer goes beyond what you can see

Bow the knee lift your eyes toward heaven

And believe the One who holds eternity

And when you don't understand the purpose of His plan

In the presence of the King, bow the knee

There are days when clouds surround us and the rain begins to fall

The cold and lonely winds won't cease to blow

And there seems to be no reason for the suffering we feel

We are tempted to believe God does not know

When the storms arise, don't forget we live by faith and not by sight.

Bow the knee trust the heart of your Father

When the answer goes beyond what you can see

Bow the knee lift your eyes toward heaven

And believe the One who holds eternity

And when you don't understand the purpose of His plan

In the presence of the King, bow the knee

In the presence of your King, bow the knee

That is what I have to do but haven't done in awhile. Bowing the knee leads to total submission. Submission to God is black and white. We can't be sorta kinda submitting to God. If we are then we aren't.

I was also reminded today that I am the clay in the Potter's hand. Clay doesn't get to choose...Clay probably shouldn't speak...Only here for You to mold, I'm holding on, because I belong in Potter's hands. (Thanks Jeromy!)

So today, bow the knee.